The Myth of Finding Time
Creating Family

Find the Time: You Can’t, It’s a Myth

“How do you find the time?” Sound like a familiar question? I know I’ve been asked this a lot. Another variation I hear is “Well, if you have the time.” These statements always bothered me and I think I’ve finally figured out why. Finding time is a MYTH!

Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day. Subtract the time you spend sleeping and you are left with (on average) 16 hours. Admittedly, I don’t usually sleep 8 hours, so I may have 2-3 extra waking hours that I should be sleeping.

Motherhood's Greatest Myth: That you will find the time

What we do with that time is up to us. I understand that there are obligations (school, work, sports, etc) and there are daily tasks that we all tackle. When it comes to the “extras” like working out, crafting with my kids, and cooking from scratch every night I don’t “find the time”, I make the time.

I prioritize these things.

It’s about how you choose to spend the time you have.

Some days the dishes pile up but I spent the day hiking with my kids.

There are weeks that I don’t vacuum but we crafted and painted nearly every day.

My bathrooms may be a little dirty but my family had a home cooked meal.

Notice a trend? I tent to sacrifice cleaning for food and food (after all, I believe some germs are good for kids). Other people will prioritize other things and that is okay! We all do the best we can with the tools we have and we all value different things.

For me, when I really need to clean, my kids will watch way more TV than usual one day while I clean the house.

It is all about balance.

Stop trying to find the time and make the time instead

So, stop procrastinating the things you want to do until you can “find the time”. It will never happen. You will always have the same 24 hours in a day and the same 7 days in a week that everyone else has. You will always have the same responsibilities and tasks set before you that you will have to prioritize.

Stop trying to find the time and start MAKING the time.

If it bothers you that you don’t craft with your kids, then prioritize it and let something else slack for a day or two.

It’s okay to skip the dishes if it meant that you cooked a healthy meal instead of eating out.

And guess what? This also means prioritizing and making time for yourself!

I know, shocker right?

Don’t beat yourself up for feeding frozen chicken nuggets because you took 15-30 minutes to exercise.

Who cares if you watch some TV in the morning if it allows you to drink your coffee in peace?

Making time for self-care is just as important because you can’t pour from an empty cup and you can’t give more of yourself without refueling.

Want some easy self-care options for mom? Check out how I re-imagined self-care in parenthood.

Please, stop asking others how they “find the time”.

Stop comparing yourself to someone else’s priorities. Don’t comment on how someone else “has the time” to do things. Nobody has any more time than anyone else and we can’t find more of it anywhere.

We choose how we spend our time.

We prioritize and make things happen.

It takes hard work, sacrifice, and compromise.

These comments feel like they trivialize these facts. If you aren’t happy with how you spend your time, then CHANGE it. Make time for what you want instead of always pushing it off with the myth that one day you will “find the time.”

Motherhood's Greatest Myth: Finding Time

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20 Comments

  • Kristal

    I think it’s very important to prioritize and to balance out your time period I find myself very overwhelmed when I don’t have things prioritized and laid out.

  • Sarah

    It’s so important to realize there isn’t time in the day to do everything on your own. It’s important to prioritize. Love this.

  • Laura

    There is a podcast about this, it was so powerful. She said something about us having time but just not wanting to make a certain activity a priority so we say we don’t have time. So basically we do have time for the things we want and we need to start saying no to the things we don’t want. Easier said than done I know but it does actually make sense.

    • Kat

      Exactly! I also think that we need to be ok with out choices. Instead of saying you can’t find the time, just be ok with the fact that you prioritized something else.

  • Marysa

    This is so true.. it is all about making the time! Over the years I’ve noticed when people say they didn’t have time for something, like a small task or time to return a message.. yet I know they made time for other things (let’s say, watching TV). All about priorities.

  • Flossie McCowald

    Well put! I’d add that one great way to “find time” for the things that are most important to us, is to say NO a lot – NO to everything that does not mesh with our own long-term goals and priorities. This makes more time for the things that DO matter to us, as well as opens up the opportunity for someone better suited to say “yes”!

  • Aditi Wardhan Singh

    Time is such a hard concept . It constantly flows and makes us feel restless with it’s lack there of. This is such an important reminder to stay centered and not let the stress of it all take us away.

  • Rachel

    People ask me all the time how I have time to do everything that I do. I am like it is easy, I don’t do a ton of other things. My house is far from clean or decorated.

  • Ainsley

    You know, this makes me think, too–when i do have the time to spend with my family, I need to prioritize them over being distracted on my phone. This is my biggest problem that I’m working on, because if I spent less time on there, I’d have more time for what I need to do!

  • Jackline A

    Great advice. I always have trouble with time. Love the quote “Stop trying to find the time and start MAKING the time”. So true.

  • Candi Carey

    This is such a good reminder to prioritize the time we have. It’s easy to get overwhelmed and let our to-do lists run our lives.

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Lucy At Home UK gentle parenting blogger