I have never been in labor.

My water never broke, I never had contractions, and I never dilated. Yes, I did give birth to a son, and no I did not adopt him. My birth story is not your typical story. It’s full of complications and a lot of discomforts. It was emotional and difficult and not at all what I was expecting. However, the result was the same. In the end, I was blessed with a beautiful, healthy little baby to hold and love.

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To understand my birth story, I have to start at the beginning.

For someone with a very small frame, I got very large while pregnant. I gained 80 pounds, which I was thankfully able to lose afterward (find out how here). Strangers were constantly asking me if I was having twins. In reality, my son was measuring relatively small. I was very bloated and swollen though. Although I was concerned about this, my doctor didn’t seem to be so I didn’t pry into it.

I continued to be what felt like a gigantic mess throughout my pregnancy.

Although I asked my doctor several times whether they thought I could have preeclampsia, they said that my blood pressure was within normal ranges so they weren’t concerned. Now, I usually have VERY low blood pressure. I knew that it was reading very high for me. Even though I insisted it was high, my doctor said it was within normal ranges for pregnancy so that there were no concerns.

I Got to 30 Weeks Pregnant

There were some issues detected in my sonograms with the blood flow to my unborn son. It was lower than it should have been. I started to go for non-stress tests and additional sonograms to monitor this. After a couple weeks with no improvement, I asked my doctor if I should start resting and stop working. I had read a lot about pregnancy, mainly in What to Expect When Expecting, so I knew what the tests were point toward. Although I was concerned, I wasn’t speaking up as much as I should have. They said we should monitor it longer and then decide. Finally, after no improvement for nearly a month, my doctor said that it might help if I started to rest.

I was learning to be an advocate for my health.

I knew something wasn’t right and that I wasn’t getting the best medical advice. It only made sense that if there was a decrease in the blood flow that resting should help. I didn’t go to a true “bed rest”, but I did start to avoid any unnecessary activity. This included quitting my job to reduce stress. I believe this really helped to make sure nothing got worse.

My swelling never went down, and neither did my blood pressure. It came time to test my urine for protein, which is a clear sign of preeclampsia. I tested positive. So I did the 24-hour urine test. This again tested positive. My doctor STILL did not diagnose me.

***Note: I went back and forth about whether to include images of myself in this post. They are among some of my least favorite pictures of myself because of the swelling. My self-confidence was really low when I looked in the mirror because I did not like the way I looked. In the end, I decided to share these because I know that it may help someone else who is going through a similar experience. I was able to lose all the weight and return to looking like my former self (and you can too!). If you are interested in how I lost the weight, you can read more here.

They did have me schedule induction for 39 weeks. There were enough complications that they didn’t want to wait too long with the thinking that my son might end up doing better on the outside. A few days before I was scheduled to go to the hospital I was told that there was something they didn’t like and I should go to the hospital for closer monitoring. This wasn’t the first time this had happened, so I called my husband as he was getting onto the train to commute home and let him know that I was going, but that the doctor said I wasn’t going to get induced.

My blood pressure began to skyrocket.

It was getting dangerous so by the time my husband’s train was arriving at the station (about an hour), I was calling him to let him know the decision had been made to start induction. There wasn’t a room available for me in labor and delivery, so I had to wait several hours to start. In this time, my blood pressure continued to rise, getting as high as 200/100. I was at serious risk, although the doctors never told me this. They simply had the nurses pad my bed in case I had a seizure, which is a big risk with blood pressure that is that high.

When I finally got a room, they were able to start an I.V. and give me a magnesium drip that was meant to help control my blood pressure. This medication made me so woozy that I couldn’t stand up without nearly falling over. I wasn’t allowed to walk anywhere, let alone the bathroom. Instead, I had to have someone assist me to a little portable toilet that was sitting beside my bed. Other than that, I had to stay laying in bed.

Then, the induction process began.

We tried for 19 hours. I had to have a little pellet placed next to my cervix to try and soften it every 4 hours. It caused a constant cramping that was very painful and didn’t go away. I complained of this and was told that it was perfectly normal. Normal, maybe, but definitely no walk in the park!

After trying this over and over again, there was still no change and my body was no closer to going into labor. My doctor gave me the choice that we could keep trying, or prepare for surgery. They said they could not give me a recommendation and that it had to be my decision. I was so delirious and absolutely terrified. I just wanted it to be over so I said to go ahead with the surgery.

Within 5 minutes I was getting wheeled to the surgical room.

They were ready for me. It was like they were just waiting for me to give the go-ahead. My husband had to wait outside as I received the spinal block and was prepped for surgery. The spinal is terrifying as I can’t see what’s going on and just feel the pokes. I didn’t know what to expect so I was incredibly nervous. Then I was laid down on the table with my arms spread wide, completely naked. They scrubbed my abdomen and covered me with a drape.

I finally relaxed a little once my husband was allowed back in to sit by my head. He talked to me the whole time and stroked my hair. It really helped since everything going on was so strange to me. I felt like I had to remind myself to breathe since I couldn’t actually FEEL myself breathing. Then, I was told I’d feel a little tugging and a couple seconds later I had the first glimpse of my beautiful little boy.

It was still a little while before I was able to hold him.

The doctors stitched me up and then I finally was able to hold my baby. I didn’t want to let go. He stayed in my arms as I was wheeled into the recovery room. I had to stay there for another 24 hours while the magnesium they had given me worked its way out of my system. During that time I still couldn’t get out of bed. I had machines that massaged my legs to make sure I didn’t get a blood clot from being immobile and I peed through a catheter.

Physically I was exhausted and miserable.

It was hard to have that moment that you always hear about where you are filled with joy at the sight of your child. Of course, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him and held him as much as I could, but the emotions were a blur.

After the 24 hours in the recovery room, I went to the maternity ward. This is when I was finally allowed to get out of bed to go to the bathroom, but everything hurt with every movement. The recovery was a long road, but I had an amazing motivation. I had a beautiful baby boy to hold and to love. I was still very swollen for a while, but with time, I would return to my former self.

It may not have been your “typical” birth story, but it is mine. It may have been a miserable pregnancy, but in the end, I’m incredibly happy because it gave me my first born son.